Female masturbation
Don't be shy: masturbation is good for you! We explore
the best female masturbation techniques to have you
feeling sensual and reaching orgasm - alone or with your
partner.
Girls, if you’ve never tried masturbating, chances are
you’ve never had an orgasm during sex. While the average
male starts to masturbate at 12-13, most women tend to
start in their later teens – and then the subject is
even more shrouded in taboo than it is with 'the lads'.
Beyond adolescence, masturbation can tend to become an
‘open secret’. We (pretty much) all do it, but few are
prepared to discuss their masturbation techniques and
preferences openly. So, if you’re not sure how best to
have solo sex and pleasure yourself, we’ll show you how.
If you’re new to masturbation, choose your time and
place reasonably carefully and set the scene. It’s a
good idea to make sure your flat mates are out, so you
won’t feel self-conscious or worried they’re about to
barge in on you. Take the phone off the hook – and make
sure you’re not going to feel hurried. If you’re
stressed, it can be beneficial to have a bath, play
relaxing music and unwind. You’ll need to be able to
think and feel sexily, with no inhibitions or nagging,
everyday thoughts, to get the most out of masturbation.
Most women have at some point used a hand-held mirror to
take a look at their genitals. It is important to have a
good, clear knowledge of your body; otherwise you'll be
left fumbling in the mental dark.
To begin with, though, and when you are relaxed, leave
the genitals aside and touch yourself elsewhere. Stroke
your breasts and your tummy and thighs – and, indeed,
everywhere else that feels pleasurable. Let any
resistance you have to the thought of self-pleasuring go
and allow yourself to feel fully sensual. You might like
using massage oil when you caress yourself, or a
silicone based lubricant, which will also come in handy
when you do start to stimulate your clitoris.
Let yourself fantasies. This is one of the key
‘masturbation techniques’ which are often neglected. So
much of our sexual pleasure is, as they say, ‘in the
mind’. Think about someone you’d like to have sex with –
and that can include your partner! Think of the ways
you’d like to have sex, and the locations you’d most
like to have sex in. It might be that you use erotica
you get yourself fantasizing and then imagine your own
fantasies as you become more aroused.
When you are feeling relaxed and sensual, start gently
to touch your genitals, parting the outer labia and
stroking, pressing and rubbing until you find the
techniques which feel most pleasurable here. Then, using
saliva on your fingers or a personal lubricant, begin to
focus your movements on your clitoris.
Run your fingers on and around the clitoral hood. Try
varying the pressure and the direction of the strokes –
side to side or in circular motions – to see what feels
best. As you become more aroused, the clitoral hood will
retract. You might then enjoy stroking the tip of the
clitoris, though to some women this can be too
sensitive. Whatever techniques you choose, keep a steady
rhythm. If you’ve never reached orgasm – and the vast
majority of women can when they masturbate – you’ll know
when you do reach orgasm because, after an increasing
sense of pleasurable feelings building up around and
centering on the clitoris, your vagina will go into a
series of wave-like spasms and there’ll be a surge of
intense pleasure. The clitoris can tend to withdraw –
and be painful to touch after climax – and the vaginal
muscles may contract.
Most women, most of the time, will choose to masturbate
lying down or resting back, with knees raised, on a bed
or sofa. You might focus on clitoral stimulation alone,
but many enjoy a degree of penetration, especially as
they become more aroused. You can easily reach you
clitoris in these positions – and so experiment with
different ways of touching it. Most women like to keep
up a regular rhythm, though some will prefer to stop and
start. As you reach orgasm, try pushing the soles of
your feet together to raise the level of tension in your
groin.
Most women who masturbate have tried using a vibrator –
and if you’re in a hurry this can be a great option! Few
like to insert the vibrator, preferring to use the tip
on and around the vaginal opening and the clitoris. Just
as when using your fingers, use plenty of lubrication.
Combine using the vibrator with using your fingers. A
word of caution: one can become over-reliant on
vibrators, to the point where ‘normal’ sex comes to seem
less pleasurable in comparison, and orgasms harder to
achieve without using the toys. A good piece of advice
is to use vibrators only when you’re totally happy with
the results you achieve with your hands.
A further very popular technique is to grind again
something. This might be a pillow beneath you on the
bed, the arm of a sofa – or your partner’s leg. You
might like to keep up a steady, quite firm thrusting
motion all the way to orgasm, or start this way and then
switch to clitoral stimulation with your hands.
Finally, no matter what masturbation techniques you find
work best for you, you’ll need to share your knowledge
of what you like with your partner – and show him what
he should be doing during sex play to arouse you most. |